Originally written for Town Hall:2-5-10
Well, it’s that special time of the year again, Valentine Season. The season begins on December 26th when Hallmark rips down their Christmas decorations (which were up since before Halloween) to put up their brand spanking, new Valentine’s Day display. Yeah, that always made so much sense. One day after recovering from the high figured credit cards and the low figured remaining balances in our checkbooks due to a plethora of Christmas shopping, the idea is to get us thinking about what to spend on Valentine’s Day. I mean, it is only two months away from December!
Not that I have anything against this holiday when it truly arrives. Of course I plan to buy something for my sweetheart and hopefully I’ll put in a little more time and effort than some of these popular commercials give me credit for.
My favorite is the advertisement for Vermont Teddy Bears.
“Hey guys, we know you blew it once again and haven’t given a moment’s thought about Valentine’s Day even though the beautiful season began December 26th. Well, hey! Have you seen these Vermont Teddy Bears? Women love them, especially when they’re dressed in cute little outfits. We guarantee it will arrive by February 14th and the best thing is that it will look like you put a whole lot of time and effort into this gift, even though you’ve really been thinking about nothing but the Superbowl every freaking hour of the day. But guys, we’re telling you these bears are so darling, your girlfriends will never imagine it took nothing more than four and a half minutes on the internet to order the cotton picking item. Of course, there’s a remote chance she’ll figure out the truth inasmuch as these commercials have been on television about 97 times a day these past two months, but you should still buy this bear. After all, you haven’t come up with a better idea yet. Your lack of creativity and all around thickness of skull keeps us in business. See you next time guys. Maybe you can fool her with a bear two years in a row.!”
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