Originally written for Town Hall on 7-30-08

I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting movies. That is, I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting movies that come out of Hollywood. When it’s an independent film, they revert back to that old tradition called, a story. Maybe you’ve heard of it. When a movie has an actual story, it is far more difficult to predict.

My greatest hatred is remakes of classic movies and remakes of classic TV shows.  I grew up on Leave It to Beaver, so when the movie version came out, I refused to even see it. I did predict that the kids would not sound like real kids and talk in sassy ways to their parents. One day, (a few years later, when the movie was on TV) I was flipping the channels around. For about two minutes, I did indeed catch a scene from Leave It to Beaver.  Ward and June Cleaver were making out on the couch. Wally walked in and shouted, “Hey you two! Get a room!”  Yep. Quite a tribute to the innocent days of the 1950’s.

And then, more recently we had Stephen Spielberg’s remake of War of the Worlds. I loved the original H.G. Wells classic. This time, I predicted that instead of a scientist and his girlfriend fleeing the alien beings, we would see a father with his troubled teen. You know, that divorced dad who never paid his kid any attention, never went to his basketball games, etc. Spielberg is a brilliant director to be sure, but I knew even he would be unable to avoid this tired plot device that serves as an automatic ingredient for all “disaster movies.”  A parent and their neglected kid are thrown together, or a man with his divorced wife is thrown together. It could be one or the other. After all, Hollywood does have some variety.

I must admit, I was wrong about one thing.  Since the original War of the Worlds ended with God saving the day, I figured that today’s anti-Christian film makers would either take God out of the ending completely or use the title Allah in place of God. That did not happen, so War of the Worlds did provide one pleasant surprise. But my other prediction was right on the money; divorced Tom Cruise and his soured teen son, fleeing the Jolly Green Giants from Mars.

Recently, I was exposed to some dreadful news. Now they are remaking The Day the Earth Stood Still. This was my favorite, arguably one of the best Science Fictions ever made, if not the best. It was well written, well acted, and it had a good message ahead of it’s time. The special effects were not bad either for the 1950’s and they still hold up. The “ahead of it’s time message” was that the aliens were not evil devouring monsters, but rather, peaceful aliens who came to warn the Earth that she must give up her tendencies toward war. If not, Earth will not be permitted to live, should she venture out into space.

OK: Here’s my prediction: Incidently, I’m not bragging with these predictions. You are probably guessing the same thing right now. Anyone would. This time, the warning will not be about war. It will be about Global Warming. Right?  I mean, this is Hollywood. What else could they possibly do?  The aliens will warn us about the dangers of Global Warming.

The movie does not come out until December. That’s why I wanted to put forth my prediction long before the story could leak out over the internet or from some review. Here’s my review ahead of time: It stinks!

Oh yes, one more thing: Probably, somewhere in the movie, we will see, as main characters, some single parent with Ernie, the troubled teen. Ernie will be upset that Mom has not paid him much attention over the years. But an encounter with beings from another world will throw Mom and Ernie together like they never have been before!  You can’t put a price on this kind of stuff!  Well, yeah, I guess you can. $10.00.  $11.00 if you go opening night.

Share this on