“Can I say something to you in love?”  If you’re a Christian, those are familier words.  You have heard them often. You have also discovered that your fellow Christians tend to shroud things in spirituality. They seldom, if ever, take responsibility for their own actions. Everything is “Spirit led” or “directed by God,” or “inspired.” Sometimes, the ruder they are, the more spiritual we deem them. Sometimes, raw, unbridled, bluntness is viewed with the status of prophecy.

Our response, ofcourse, is also scripted. If somebody asks if they can say something in love we are supposed to respond, “Oh sure.”  After all, to do otherwise is to quench the Spirit. To challenge the statement is to disobey God. It is simply impossible that this person is sharing with us because they like to hear themselves talk or because they enjoy meddling into matters that are none of their business. No, if they took the time to confront you, rest assured, they were led by the Lord.

Over the years, I have developed a response to the question, “Can I say something to you in love?”  My response is, “No.”

That’s right. No! After their jaws drop down to their shoes, (surprised at my sudden lapse of spirituality) I explain.  “If you need to preface your comment like that, I know it is not something I am going to want to hear. I’m sure I can use a lot of advice to straighten out my life but I would prefer to ask for the critique myself. I no longer accept unsolicited advice, so no, you can not say what you want to say.  Not even in love.”

This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.

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