The older we get, the more people we know. The more people we know, the more it increases the odds that we will witness a fair amount of deaths in our lifetime.
There’s nothing more heart wrenching or more confusing than death, made even more so when it’s the death of a loved one. No words of comfort will ever take the pain away completely, but for Christians, we at least know that death is not the absolute end. Yes, it’s a departure. No, it does not mean we will never see our friends or family members again.
God created us for the purpose of living forever. The first human beings turned from God, bringing sin and death into the world. For that reason, all of us will die. But in His mercy, God offers a second chance, a resurrection from the dead. Body, soul, and spirit can continue to live forever with God and forever with fellow human beings. Heaven is not a celestial graveyard. Heaven is a real place where we continue to live out our lives, only much more happily.
Toward the end of Jesus’ time on Earth, He said to his disciples:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going” (John 14:2-4).
But where as Christians, of all people, should be the most comforted during a funeral, they often feel quite the opposite. Indeed, our own theology can make us feel as if salt has been poured in an already open wound. Here is a question, frequently asked of me:
“Bob, I’m not sure my brother (or sister, mother, father, aunt, uncle, etc.) is really in heaven. I saw no indication that he ever gave his life to Jesus Christ. Am I now supposed to assume he is in hell?”
The question is very understandable. Still, I think I can offer some good news here: There is never a reason to necessarily assume that we know where a loved one has gone. All too often, Christians think they need an answer for everything, but in this case, ignorance is bliss.
It’s true that everybody is saved through the atonement and forgiveness of Jesus, but you will never be sure this side of heaven where your friends or relatives ended up. Who knows what might have happened at the end of their lives when time and eternity crossed? The thief who died next to Jesus repented at the very end of his life (Luke 23: 39-43). True, this incident was watched and recorded, but God undoubtedly arranged its inclusion in Scripture to let us know that many such situations happen at death. Who is to say that on the verge of a soul’s last breath, God could not reach down and offer a full understanding of His message? What may look like seconds to a family watching their unconscious sibling pass away, could be as long as months for the soul drifting into eternity, where time does not even exist. Perhaps this is why Paul wrote:
“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God (1 Cor 4:5).
There is zero evidence that my dad gave his life to Jesus before he died. But neither was anybody with him when he passed away from a heart attack. If my father is separated from God, I do not know this absolutely, and I am not meant to know, at least not yet. When I get to heaven, I will find out for sure. Either I’ll rejoice to see my dad there with me, or I will discover his other destiny. Should the news be bad, I will hear the news from God and with God. I will be able to bear then, what I would not be able to handle now. At that time, I will see things as God does and God Himself will dry my tears.
“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known”(1 Cor 13:12).
“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Rev 21:4).
And so, my friends, when a loved one dies, assume the best. Honor them. Remember them for their virtues. Ask God to receive their soul. Then, after praying, suspend your personal judgment. Life has enough twists and turns without borrowing trouble from an unknown future. Whatever their destiny, all will feel right and be right when you stand in the presence of our Creator.
Share this on
