“If You Don’t Lose Those Pounds, We’ll Lose Them For You!”

Originally published February 04, 2008

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any stupider: In England, the government wants to give cash rewards to people who lose weight. Where will the cash come from? Tax dollars of course. After all, there is no money tree in Sherwood Forrest. Robin Hood demonstrated that by stealing from the rich to redistribute wealth, and the spirit of Conrad Robin seems to be alive and well in merry old England.

Not to be one upped by our fun British cousins, American doctors want to tax fat people rather than rewarding thin people. I guess it’s the same basic idea. How will this happen? By imposing a special sales tax on Coke and Pepsi. Other creative ideas for fat taxes come from The New York Times, ideas such as chunky citizens checking in at government offices so that they can stand on the scales and well…I just couldn’t explain it as brilliantly as they do. Why anything said by The New York Times surprises me any more, I’m sure I don’t know.

Neither can I tell you how grateful I am for parallel talk about public schools going through kid’s lunches to decide what they are allowed to eat. Parents can’t be responsible for that decision, not when they poison their children with Cheetos and Oreo cookies. You just can’t trust those nasty parents any more. Better to leave such a sacred mission with the state.

This is why I was opposed to all the anti-smoking regulations. Now mind you, I have no love for cigarette smoke. But I never believed for a second that it would be limited to cigarettes. People think in extremes and once Pandora’s Box is opened, the food police (following on the heels to today’s P.C Thought Police) want to tell us what we can eat and what we can drink. If tobacco is bad for us, what about caffeine? What about chocolate?  Don’t even mention Sour Skittles.  Once there was even a lawsuit against McDonalds in an attempt to force them to sell veggie burgers. McDonalds didn’t want to sell veggie burgers because (for the most part) nobody eats those disgusting things. George Burns said it perfectly once. :”Eating that stuff doesn’t actually help you to live longer. It will just make life SEEM longer.” McDonalds escaped the cross fire but I was concerned that such a discussion would even take place at all in the land of the free. And now here we are in the 21st Century.

“Two thousand-eight,

Let’s regulate weight!”

I don’t like it when I’m overweight and I work very hard to keep it off. But that’s my choice. Others might not care how their bodies look and if they don’t care, well, correct me if I’m mistaken, but aren’t we supposed to be living in a Pro-Choice country which tells people “It’s your body and it’s your choice.”?

Oh wait.  I almost forgot.  When you want to eat junk food that’s a major offense and your body is not your own.  But should you want to do something harmless like kill the baby in your womb, well, it’s your body and your choice.

Did I say this was stupid?  I apologize. This has become tragic and dangerous.

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