Originally written on October 1, 2008 prior to the big bank “bailout.”

I’ll never forget the old Laurel and Hardy movie, in which those two lovable buffoons were ordering dessert in a restaurant.

“What kind of ice cream do you have?” asked Stanley, the slimmer, dopier one.

The waiter replied, “We have pistachio or vanilla.”

With a gleeful, child like enthusiasm, Stanley said, “I’ll take chocolate.”

Life can be that way at times. Much as we’d like to believe we can have it all, much as we think we’re entitled to unlimited choices, the list is not always as big as Ben and Jerry’s. Sometimes we must chose between pistachio and vanilla. I sympathize with poor Stanley, because those are not my two favorite flavors either. In fact, they are on the bottom of the list, unless I beautify the vanilla with chocolate fudge, butterscotch, whipped cream, nuts and a cherry on top. But they might not offer all that extra stuff either. It might just be pistachio or vanilla. We can be in denial. We can assume, as Stanley did, that because we like chocolate, they must have chocolate. Indeed, we can be in so much denial, that we do not even hear the waiter. But our strong opinions will not cause vanilla to morph into chocolate.

While this observation may be obvious when discussing dessert, such a simple truth hides itself more easily when morals and ethics are discussed. Our current financial crisis has spiraled into a myriad of discussions far beyond money. The ethics of politicians and special interest groups have taken over the debate, armed with such lightening charged words as; hypocrisy, inconsistency, disloyalty, lying, criminal negligence and downright evil.

If you have been reading my blogs or listening to my radio show for any length of time at all, you know I am not a moral relativist. I believe God has wired human beings with a conscience, that gentle, little whisper which helps to distinguish good from evil. Unfortunately, life offers scenarios in which the choice is not always between right or wrong. Sometimes we choose between two ideas that in and of themselves are right, but, when faced with the dynamics of a unique situation, one choice is still the better one. Sometimes, neither choice is good and we are casting our lots between the lessor of two evils. People resist this notion.  They do not want a pick between the lesser of two evils and I do not blame them. None of us prefer that choice. But the alternative is to abstain altogether,  in which case you are increasing the odds for the greater of two evils. Conservatives learned this the hard way during our last mid-term election. Frustrated with a Republican congress that went back on promises and let them down, many stayed home on Election Day. The result?  We now have Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid running what may go down in history as the most disgraceful congress ever to ooze out of a rock. Was it worth it?  The nightmare we witnessed this week was not much different than what has been going on for two years. It’s just that recently, we have all had to pay a lot more attention.

I do understand. When people of high conscience are forced to settle for the pragmatic, it is tragic and disheartening.

I have heard many good arguments against the “bail out bill.” I agree with most of them.  I also believe the many economists who warn us that we need to do something fast or our economy might just shut down. Bottom line: I think we are hearing the right ideas but at the wrong time. What do I mean by “the right idea at the wrong time?”  When Gandhi led a pacifist revolt against British controlled India, it was the right idea at the right time. When pacifists protested against Hitler, it was also the right idea, but at the wrong time. Hitler was able to kill the pacifists and sleep well at night. So were his Nazi friends.

Alternative suggestions to the bail out bill could fill a library. There are just as many suggestions for additions, amendments etc. I’ve heard things like: “Just cut the Capital Gains tax. That will stimulate the economy.”  Or, “If we would stop free education and free health care for illegal aliens, and if we would stop selling mortgages to illegal aliens, we’d save billions! ” The list goes on: We can give loans to failing banks instead of payments. And what about permanent reform? Let’s not just put out a fire. Let’s punish the arsonists! We should shut down Freddie and Fannie. We should remove all who run those miserable organizations. We should investigate criminal activity. And what’s the rush? Why not take our time and do this thing right?

The answer is simple: This is not going to be done right. I’m sorry. But it isn’t. It cannot possibly be done right, at least, not at this time. Why? Because we are running out of time! The choice is pistachio or vanilla. We don’t have chocolate!  It always sounds good to say, “Stop, relax, chill out and let’s think this thing through.” But if your house is burning down, that may not be the best time to review safety codes and check the batteries of the smoke detector. And it’s probably not the ideal moment to talk about remodeling the kitchen, landscaping the back yard, or turning the garage into a pool room with an ice dispenser. Instead, it might just be a good time to call the fire department and get your family out of the house. If your children say they are entitled to an explanation, tell them the house is burning down. If they don’t yet see the fire, if it is only in the back part of the house, tell them you’ll explain in more detail later. After the house is saved, you have all the time in the world.

Is it good to let government solve an economic crisis by getting bigger than a super nova? No. Will that put us closer to Socialism? Yes. Is Socialism a good thing? No. Is it better to eliminate that Capital Gains tax than have the US Treasury buy bad bank loans? Of course, but it’s not going to happen. Just as soon ask an elephant to fly as ask a Democratic controlled congress to cut the Capital Gains tax. Can we reach a compromise and get them to at least reduce the tax? Possibly. Either that or some other concession, given the emergency of the situation, but rest assured, compromise is exactly what it will be. I wish that were not so. Wishing works with Aladdin’s lamp. It does little to restore liquidity into a failing economy. We do not have time for nuanced arguments, charts, graphs or lectures. As for removing the illegal aliens?  Dream on. Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea, but dream on! It ain’t gonna happen, Jack! I mean who do you think we are dealing with? Did I mention that we’re talking about Congress? And, once again, we have this congress because some of you principled Conservatives decided to punish the Republicans two years ago. Now we have to live with it. You can dream up the best bill in the world but in the face of Pelosi and Reid, that’s all it is; a dream. We are living in the debris of your ideology from two years ago and it’s short circuiting the ideology you long for now.

In the week since Bush called for swift action, two more American banks have failed and several overseas banks did the same. Some of you who did not want to “bail out Wall Street” have already lost your 401Ks. They might have been spared if we had thrown an inner tube the moment we heard the cry for help. No more time to debate whether or not this plane is going to fly. Nobody is guaranteeing it will work. They are saying, “We better try it.” First stop the bleeding. Then we can catch our breath and debate over what caused the bleeding. No, the innocent should not have to pay for the guilty, but the choice is not pay or don’t pay. The choice is pay some or pay much more. If that sounds too frustrating, remember, an election is on the horizon. We can exhibit our anger in the voting booth. For now, too many people are calling their congressmen. I know that sounds like a good thing. As I said, morals can be in conflict. Is it good for citizens to get involved? Yes. Should politicians follow the will of the people?  Yes, as a general rule. But supposing most people don’t understand what is going on? Bush did a horrible job of selling this turkey. How many think it is only about bailing out a few rich, fat cat executives on Wall Street? How many understand that the little guy who runs a comic book store will also be affected?  When a sinking ship is rescued,  the rescue saves everybody on the ship, those who deserve to be rescued, and those who damaged the boat. It is wrong for innocent people to pay for the guilty but if our economy shuts down, they will be paying a whole lot more. Damage control first! Normally I would love to see senators and congressmen held hostage by the people who put them in office, but that only works when the people actually know what they’re talking about. I assure you, if this bill fails and the economy vanishes, many who wanted their congressmen to vote against the bill will blame them for not passing it.

In 1774, Edmund Burke, speaking to the Electors of Bristol, said, “Your representative owes you, not his industry only, but his judgment, and he betrays, instead of serving you, if he sacrifices it to your opinion.”

We need to let them pass this bill. The Republican influence will probably eliminate the insane portions (such as, 20 percent for ACORN) but it still won’t be a perfect bill. It won’t even be close to a perfect bill. In a perfect world, there would be no bill at all, because this problem would never have existed. True, panic has made things worse. Such is the nature of the beast. Word of mouth is an unchecked, less tangible influence, moving around like a whiff of smoke. We can not put a harness around smoke. But even when people have made a mountain out of a molehill, they now have a mountain and this mountain must be reckoned with.

After the bill passes, after the bleeding stops, after the dust settles, after we have all caught our breath, after our economy is rescued (if only for a short while) we can head to the polls on Election Day and replace just as many culpable politicians as possible. In the meantime, don’t make your neighbor suffer because you dislike Washington and Wall Street. If the entire economy dries up and credit becomes rare as gold, if cash flows are unavailable for small businesses, everyone will suffer. Some will suffer less. They are the people on TV and radio who risk less and therefore do not mind the gamble. They would love to experiment and see if their own economic theories hold true.Who knows? Maybe they’ll be proven right. But if they are wrong, they will not pay quite as much as you, because most of them are already better off than you financially. That’s why they’re on TV and radio. I do not doubt the sincerity. It’s just that their pocket books have given them a wider threshold of comfort.  And again, I do not disagree with their ideas. They have wonderful ideas, ideas that could turn this sinking lifeboat into a luxury liner. We’ll listen to them later, after the leak has been sealed. Otherwise, their luxury liner might just turn out to be the Titanic.

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