Well, it was only a matter of time. In an interview with Don Imus, Senator Chris Dodd blamed the BP oil spill on, you guessed it, George W. Bush. If not for Bush’s permissive regulations of the past, the accident never would have happened. The fact that environmental concerns are making people drill in mile deep water instead of closer to the coast couldn’t possibly have had anything to do with it.
Look, if Dodd wanted to merely claim this wasn’t Obama’s fault, I would be with him. I would say, “President Obama, welcome to the world of being blamed for every thing on Earth including the weather.”
But he just couldn’t resist playing the George Bush card, so he drags Bush out of the closet again, even though he has not been our president for a year and a half.
In any event, since we’re on a roll, here is a list of other things to blame on good ol’ George Bush W:
-When banks or department stores are robbed at gun point, that is only because the failing economy breeds desperate measures and who ruined our economy more than George Bush?
-When terrorists attack, it is only because George Bush was willing to call them terrorists. That insulted the poor guys. They wanted to be known as philanthropists. Had Bush refrained from using the term (as Obama plans to now do) we would get along so well with Al-Qaeda and Hamas, that we’d all take a house by the sea together.
-Bush is responsible for Simon Cowell leaving American Idol. If not for the homophobic environment created by our former president, Simon would not have minded working another year with Ellen.
-When your Slurpee at 7/11 melts too quickly, that is due to Global Warming brought about by the loose emission standards on big auto industries who were in bed with George Bush.
-When your car gets a flat tire, it is the fault of George Bush. You see, tires are made of rubber and rubber comes from trees, trees that Bush had no business cutting down. Had your tire been made with a different substance, it never would have gone flat.
-When a cat eats a bird, it’s not because the cat is hungry. After all, there’s that bowl of Purina waiting for her in your kitchen. No, it’s only because times are tough and the poor feline feels disillusioned. And who let her down more than George Bush? Didn’t he use the word “mankind” in a speech once, leaving out the entire animal kingdom and making them feel like second class citizens? Well, that’s what cats do when the feel like second class citizens. They eat birds. If you didn’t know this, then you are uneducated. You know who else was uneducated? George Bush. What? You say he graduated Yale? Well, yeah, sure, if you’re gonna bring up that one.
-If you get too fat from eating fast food, it is only because you ordered the Happy Meal. And why did you order the Happy Meal? To cheer yourself up! You wanted to become happy because you weren’t happy and you weren’t happy because Bush was your president for 8 years. Even to this day, you still have not gotten over it.
ONE MORE: Bush was responsible for the Bubonic Plague, the Ice Age (which was far too cold) and the melting of the Ice Age (which was far too hot.) How could he have done this when such phenomena happened before he was even born? We don’t know yet, but we’re working on it.
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