Of Ships And Shoes And Ceiling Tax And Cabbages And Kings

Originally published by San Diego Rostra 4-20-10

President Obama complained in a speech that the Tea Party crowd, which is organized mostly around the concept of lower taxes, has not thanked him. After all, under Obama, no one who makes 200 thousand dollars a year or less will see a tax hike. I’ll give you a moment to get over the surprise that our president has delivered another speech. Then, we can talk about the speech’s content.

OK. Content time. Yes, it’s true. This is what Obama promised during the 2008 campaign. Nobody who makes 200 thousand a year or less will pay any new taxes at all. Promise delivered! Promise fulfilled! Whew! Happy days are here again! Relax everyone. Chill out, Tea Parties!

Of course…..

-Those who own small businesses, may personally make less than 200 thousand dollars a year, but often the business itself makes more than 200 thousand and in such cases, Obama will tax your business’ brains out, which means you and your employees will make even less money.

-Oh, and you still have your Social Security Tax, based upon virtually any income at all, money set aside for your future, but no longer guaranteed because the SS system is going bankrupt.

-Oops! Almost forgot. Next year the Bush tax cuts also get repealed.

-And then we have a modest little bill called, Cap and Trade, special fees put upon businesses that are not “green enough.” Watch for this fun new legislation coming soon to a company near you. But Obama won’t call these fees a tax and that’s why he doesn’t want you to call them a tax either.

-One more thing: Your electric bill will also go up because the electric company will be paying more money to the Cap and Trading government and you yourself will be charged more for that usage of that horrible Globally Warming energy. But that’s not a tax either. It’s just an electric bill.

-Oh, and back to businesses: All companies with a certain amount of employees are now required to provide health care or pay a fee (not a tax, a fee) so watch for these companies to get around the problem by having less employees, which means you may not have a job any more but at least your taxes will not go up.

-Did I say,”One more thing”? I guess it’s really several more things: If your employer doesn’t provide you with health care, you must purchase it yourself or pay your own fee. Again, this fee is not a tax, even though thousands of new IRS agents are being hired to enforce this “non tax.”

-And then there’s the gigantic new Sales Tax on all merchandise but hey, the promise of no taxes had to do with Income Tax, not Sales Tax. For that matter, Property Tax, Capital Gains Tax, and Death Tax are also still in play. (Are you starting to think back fondly over a game of Monopoly where you used to draw a card for Luxury Tax?)

I’m reminded of those prescription drug commercials which tell you how wonderful their product is and then list the disclaimers required by law: ” You’ll be so grateful for Stomach Bliss, the wonder pill which eliminates all pain and all cramps, immediately.” (Then the announcer lowers his voice, speaking faster than Alvin and the Chipmunks: “Causes, nausea, diarrhea, dementia, hyperventilating, headaches, swollen glands, loose teeth, hives, golf ball size blisters, hallucinations and paranoid schizophrenia” (Slowing down again with a friendly, jovial voice) Yes, that’s Stomach Bliss,your pretty pink pill that doesn’t stop until all the pain has popped.”

In all fairness to Obama, this ad is not an exact parallel . Obama, after all, does not bother to review the disclaimers.