So…You think you are a Liberal?  You are proud of that title?  Well let’s just find out how liberal you truly are. Test yourself!  You’ve heard of the Pepsi Challenge.  This is the Liberal Challenge.

Part One: The Qualities of Liberals

1) Do you challenge the status quo? Are you willing to march to the beat of a different drum, instead of blindly following the majority?

2) Do you push the envelope with humor, making your points in sometimes unorthodox ways, such as the outrageous humor exhibited by the Not Ready For Prime Time Players on the original Saturday Night Live, a program that went even further than The Daily Show? Sure, some jokes are off limits, such as, racial jokes, but beyond that, are you willing to laugh, even if it flies in the face of another person’s moral code or stuffy sensibilities? If people can’t handle a joke, do you tell them to lighten up?

3) Are you willing to protest any injustice, even that of your own government? How about your own school or university?

4) Are you against censorship?  Does the very notion of free speech suppression scare you or infuriate you?

5) Do you stick up for the weak and disenfranchised?

If you answered yes to at least questions 1, 2, 4 and 5, you certainly have the heart and intention of a Liberal. If you answered affirmative to all, your heart is Liberal Plus!

However…The test is not over yet. Time for Part Two:

Part Two: The Reality Check

1) Do you oppose the Fairness Doctrine, Hate Speech legislation and other proposed laws that would limit free speech, or are you buying into excuses such as “Free Speech must be responsible speech,” or “Free Speech must be sensitive speech,” or “Free Speech must be tolerant speech.”?

2) When guest speakers on college campuses have pies thrown in their faces or get shouted down, do you complain and stand by the speakers, even if they do not articulate your own viewpoint?

3) Do you challenge your teachers and professors when they define a “hateful person” as anyone who disagrees with them?

4) When our new president says that people should put away ideology and instead come together (as if he himself does not have an ideology) do you challenge the man? Do you challenge him when he says people should stop listening to certain talk show hosts? Are you even the slightest bit suspicious of a public figure who does not want you to hear opposing views?

5) Are there jokes you will not allow yourself to listen to because they are not Politically Correct?

6) Do you object to the death of infants through abortion or infanticide (both of which are legal in our country under certain circumstances) If not, please answer this question: Who is weaker or more disenfranchised than a helpless infant that cannot defend itself?

If you answered no to most of the Part Two questions, then you are not a Liberal. You may claim to be, but you are not. Sorry. You are, in fact, mainstream, status quo, unwilling to challenge, unwilling to push envelopes, unwilling to laugh and very willing to censor others. Frankly, you have become the “fundy dundy Conservative” you always speak against with such passion.

Please understand: My purpose just now was not to insult you. It was to wake you up before it’s too late; before we find ourselves prisoners in a totalitarian state that neither Conservative nor Liberal will be happy in.

This is Bob Siegel, the true Liberal, whom some might still call Conservative. (and a Democrat, incidentally) making the obvious, obvious.

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