At first my friends were taken back by my recent rule. After all, who loves entertainment more than I do? But I informed them of the new personal standard nevertheless. No more evening movies! That is, no more evening films in actual theaters. A video is fine. A matinee at a theater is also fine. But (with exceptions for special occasions only) I have cut out the evening cinematic experience.
My reason is not a profound one. Instead, it’s fiscal and downright practical. I fall asleep too often in films! Why pay ten dollars for a nap when I can sleep at home anytime I want for free? No, this problem has nothing to do with my age (a bright, chipper, youthful 55) It’s just that in certain situations I fall asleep far too easily. This is especially true when the TV is on, but dozing off in front of the tube does not cost me ten dollars so I don’t have any rule about television.
Believe it or not, I am actually a night person. I can stay up like a marathon man talking at Denny’s with friends, arguing theology, politics or even films that would be putting me to sleep if I were actually watching them instead of talking about them. Even after I return home for the purpose of catching some sack time, I often experience the opposite problem. I am one of those men who lays awake at night with insomnia. For countless years, I would nod off on the couch in front of The Tonight Show or the local news. After turning off the TV, I would then head to my room, only to lie down on the bed, wide awake, thinking about too many things and never getting back to sleep. After repeating this ritual for what seemed like a lifetime, I finally put a TV in the bedroom. Now, when I’m ready to check out, I turn on the little box from my remote control and I’m out like a light, maybe because its dull, mindless roar detracts me from trying to meditate on the problems of the world from my pillow. Who says television is a waste of time? I find it quite useful! So yes, I often have trouble sleeping but when I do sleep, I am not a light sleeper and I never have been. Noise does not keep me awake. If anything, repetitious noise has the opposite effect, almost hypnotic. I could probably nod off next to a jackhammer but this is not about jackhammers. Back to movie theaters:
Even in High School and college, I fell asleep at the movies. I did not need to be tired and the screen story did not need to be boring. I fell asleep during The Godfather, Star Wars, even a re-release of The Ten Commandments! Those movies are great! I was on the edge of my seat…until…I realized the movie was over and I had missed half of it. Wasteful as the ticket may have been, I would then fork up even more money the following day. After all, it is frustrating to miss a show you have been looking forward to and if I conked out, I was determined to promptly return and view this film in its entirety, the way the good Lord intended it to be watched.
How long has this been going on? I graduated High School in 1972. That was the year it began. Shall we add up the bill? It would be impossible because I have lost track and it is painful to think about how many-wasted movie tickets (along with repeat matinee showings one day later) have been accumulated. That isn’t even counting the extra 87 dollars for a box of Milk Duds or Hot Tamales.
If the final tab could be added, I am sure the toll would be in the thousands of dollars. That is not an exaggeration. The figure would be astronomical. And so, no more evening movie theaters. I will save in the future but I cringe as I think about what I have wasted in the past.
On the other hand, perhaps I’m being too hard on myself. After all, I am entitled to a social life just as anyone else is. I may have slept through movies but I really haven’t seen movies more than the average American. And how many lousy films are just as much a waste of time while we stay awake for them? Besides, prior to seeing a movie with my friends, we are hanging out over dinner, enjoying each other’s company, etc. You can’t put a price tag on time spent with special people.
Still, the less money wasted the better, even when I feel I have a right to unwind. Evaporated finances are never a good thing. They cripple the mini economies of our lives and probably hurt the rest of the nation as well. Here’s where I’m going with this. I believe the US government owes me a bailout!
This is Bob Siegel, making the obvious, obvious.
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